


long slow distance

by hencas (ART3M1S)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, One Shot, are you even a university student if you don't sing karaoke at the student bar, basically just me envisioning if 127 studied at my uni, blond to red taeil, disaster bisexual yuta, distinguished gay taeil, expectations are a heavy burden, fellas is it gay to feed your homie?, food is the source of love, mentions of coming out, one sided pining, taeil philosophy major, university can be a lonely place.., yuta anthropology student, yuta is head over heels for taeil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ART3M1S/pseuds/hencas
Summary: yuta and taeil practically live together but that hasn't served to stop yuta from falling in love with his new friendbased on ch. 3 of 'entering the neo zone' (kitchen beat)a one-shot on the trials and tribulations of yuta at college, whilst trying to juggle falling in love, loneliness and failing grades.
Relationships: Moon Taeil/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: momo's responses





	long slow distance

**Author's Note:**

> soundtrack: dream in colour - franc moody // kevin walkman - wasteurtime

Yuta thinks back to the first lonely term he spent aimlessly meandering around the town that would be his home for the next three years.  The locals had become sick of the constant influx of students infringing on their pubs and restaurants, giving the town, and subsequently the sparse high street, a general air of uneasy tension. Spending his initial couple of days drifting through the city and the university campus, observing the students as any anthropology student would; it was then that Yuta had begun to wonder whether this had all been a mistake. 

The skepticisms of his friends and family had begun to burn a hole in the back of his mind, beginning as a small ember, igniting minuscule doubts into his (vague-at-best) plans for the future; but now they had practically become a wildfire that plagued his mind almost every hour of the day.

Having studied at a grammar school tailored towards maths and science for the past seven years, it had been a shock to everyone Yuta knew (himself included) when he’d received an offer to study ‘Social and Cultural Anthropology’ at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. He’d applied out of spite, not telling a soul about his plans because, of course,  _ what they don’t know won’t hurt them _ . But, as with most lies, they eventually get found out, and he found himself having to explain to the people around him why he’d made a decision that he didn’t really understand himself. This hadn't stopped his parents from incessantly calling it a huge mistake, not stopping once he’d received his induction letters, or when he’d begun packing for the move, or even when they’d said their begrudging goodbyes in the dimly lit corridor of his university halls.

Yet, he had resolved to make the most of his new life; make life-long friends, actively have a positive impact on his university, and ultimately graduate with a first-class degree at the end of the three years. But of course, life doesn’t  _ ever _ go smoothly, and he found himself ostracised by his flatmates who had a penchant for ( **loudly** ) drinking  _ every single night of the week _ , flunking two of his four modules right from the outset, and worst of all, not managing to form a bond with a single one of his coursemates. He put it down to his intimidating demeanor, but there was only so much he could do in terms of socialising when he was already struggling to keep up with the  _ neck-breaking speeds _ that the lecturers churned through academic content at.

His first term was a struggle; attempting to juggle an overwhelming amount of work with the crushing darkness of social solitude, along with sleep deprivation, was pretty much a recipe for the plummet of Yuta’s mental health. But going home wasn’t an option. 

He’d rather die than give everyone back home the smug satisfaction of being able to say the words he hated most of all: ‘ _ I told you so’ _ . Thus, he spent the Christmas break in the same dreary town, walking the streets that were a constant reminder of his failures of the year, while working at the local supermarket to help pay his rent for next term. His flatmates had left to spend the holidays with their respective families, but he had decided he would rather spend the time with only himself as company than spend almost a month with his overbearing parents and overachieving pals.

With his prior downfalls weighing on his shoulders, he decided to branch out for the next semester, picking modules outside his faculty to  _ hopefully _ boost his GPA, and perhaps even make a friend or two? But, as always, something had to go wrong. His first choice of Philosophy of Religion was full before he could even log onto the optional module catalog, which left him stuck taking the only remaining Philosophy module available to him: Philosophy of Sex.

It’s not that he wasn’t interested in the complexities of traditional views of sex, gender and monogamy, but the subject matter stood a little too close for home for his liking. Coming out to his parents had been an ordeal in and of itself, consisting of large quantities of denial and shouting matches, along with snide remarks that still plagued their relationship to this day. So, rehashing his,  _ very personal _ , issues in a semi-public setting, with a lecturer that probably couldn’t give two shits about the state of his mental health wasn’t an ordeal he was overly eager to embark on.

After begging and pleading with the administrators for days, only to receive a half-assed email, littered with spelling mistakes that ultimately said: stop complaining and suck it up, Yuta resigned himself to having to take the class, hoping that  _ it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would be. _

Strolling into the class a couple of minutes early, he soon realised that the module was comprised of three distinct groups of students; the archetypal philosophers, who showed up before the lecturer, eager to have their unwavering opinions heard by their peers, a stark contrast to the generic ‘lads’ who had presumably  _ jumped _ at the idea of study something that had the word  _ sex _ in it, and finally, the few stragglers who had probably been forced to sign up to the module out of sheer desperation - the group Yuta found himself resigned to identify with. 

Around ten minutes into the introductory lecture, he had resigned himself to simply sit and silently observe what went on, the content actually seemed interesting and the lecturer actually seemed like she gave a shit about what her students thought of her. However, his quiet contentment quickly came to an end  when  a disheveled dirty blond  slid  into the seat  beside him -  twenty minutes late to  the midday lecture - and extended a welcoming hand coupled with a cheeky smile,  that had  Yuta blaming no one but fate for this encounter .

His newfound companion had briefly introduced himself as ‘Moon Taeil’, a philosophy student who, despite his tranquil name, seemed anything but calm. He brought with him a sunny demeanor, almost blinding Yuta with the pure optimism and liveliness he seemed to naturally exude. But before he could pull himself from checking out his newfound friend, Taeil raised his hand with a blazing confidence that had Yuta shying away from the invisible spotlight now pointed in his general direction. 

“You said that we’d be covering the context of relationships in different cultures?” Taeil firmly inquired.

“Yes, that will be the first topic we cover”

“Does that then mean we’ll only be discussing things in a heterosexual context?” he questioned, eyebrows slightly raising.

“No, no, no! We’ll be covering questions on non-conventional relationships such as polygamy, as well as the spectrum of sexuality and sexual identities - such as homosexuality, bisexuality and others.” the lecturer happily answered, elated  _ someone _ was taking an active interest in the content.

“ _ Oh, _ ” he remarked, glancing at Yuta and giving him a brief once-over, before dropping his gaze, “Looking forward to it”.

Yuta spent the remainder of the lecture rigid in his seat, eyes glued to the notepad he had been taking sparse notes in, not daring to glance at his classmate casually lounging beside him. Once the lesson had come to a close, he desperately packed up his things, hoping to take his leave before garnering the attention of his recent acquaintance again, but, before he was even halfway through, his sandy-haired classmate had placed a hand on the sheets of paper he had yet to pack away.

“Hey, why the rush? Is there somewhere you gotta get to so desperately?” 

“Uh… no… I’m not in any rush… just um, eager to get out of here…”

“Oh, cool!” Taeil exclaimed, bouncing from foot to foot, “Since you’re free, you can come over to mine… I was planning to make lunch anyway, what’s one more mouth to feed?”

“Oh… umm, I guess… if it’s not a hassle for-”

“No hassle at all, dude! It’s not too far from here, and it gives me the chance to wrack that pretty head of yours” he chuckled, meandering towards the building exit, leaving Yuta awestruck.

Like a charismatic tornado, Taeil swept Into Yuta’s life, bringing with him a sense of longing that Yuta had never known himself to be capable of.  Taeil was his saviour, comparable to moonlight leading a lone sailor from murky waters of solitude, to a brightly lit haven of friendship, empathy, and above all else,  _ basic social interaction _ \- the problem was, he now felt he was drowning in a different sense.

He had never really swum in the dating pond before, only having random hook-ups on drunken nights out with people he had little interest in. His former friends had encouraged him to date some of his classmates who had pined after him over the years, but he’d never felt that  _ spark _ with anyone… at least until now…

Taeil had lectures, before their shared ones, on a different campus - and as a result - proceeded to rock up late to  _ every single one _ of their shared lectures with nothing but a brazen smirk and a sticker-covered laptop tucked under his arm, ready to entertain Yuta for the remaining duration of the lecture. Their friendship blossomed quickly, with Taeil asking Yuta over to his place after almost every lecture and, a few weeks later, Yuta had practically become a fifth roommate in Taeil’s student house, spending more time there than in his own dorms. 

A couple nights a week his charismatic companion would cook him up a meal that wasn’t just instant noodles (or at worst, beans on toast). Unlike him, Taeil was a second-year student, well-versed in the student culture and all around atmosphere of the city. Though he had initially seemed like a whirlwind personified, Yuta found that he had his life put together a lot more than he had assumed. He was a member of multiple societies and was averaging over seventy percent in every single one of his modules, without even breaking a sweat. He even managed to have a thriving social life, enthusiastically relaying the events of his many nights out on their walks back from lectures. Yuta was jealous, to say the least. 

But he wasn’t sure at this point whether he wanted Taeil or wanted to be him.

  
  
  


One evening, on his route home from an extended study session at the library, he’d turned his phone back on, to find numerous voicemails left in his inbox, all with one common factor; Taeil urgently telling him to call him back as soon as possible, and to get to his place as soon as he could.

Yuta could feel his heart sink into his stomach, panic coursing through every part of his body. ‘What the hell had happened?’ ‘Why had he turned his phone off?’ ‘Was Taeil okay?’ ‘Was anyone with him?’ ‘Why wasn’t he answering his phone now?’ 

Countless thoughts plagued his mind as he swiftly turned around, almost sprinting to get to his friend’s house as quickly as he humanly could. Arriving at the house he had spent many a sleepless night at, he vigorously pounded on the door before doubling over in an attempt to catch his breath. 

The door swung wide open on its hinges, and he looked up from his bent-over position, to find Taeil standing with an affectionate grin on his face, as Yuta frantically assessed his condition.

“You- You’re-” he panted, the words tumbling out of his mouth faster than his brain could stop them, “Are you okay, what’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing’s wrong…” 

“Taeil… what the fuck. I ran here all the way from the library, I-” Yuta spat out, “I thought something had happened to you... fuck!”

“Hey… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have made it seem like I wasn’t okay” he stammered, shoulders dropping alongside his forlorn gaze, “I just wanted to surprise you, I- I’m sorry.”

Yuta’s eyes roamed over him, finally realising what had changed. Taeil’s once blond head of hair was now a distinctly bright crimson, but, detracting from the transformation was the sullen expression that Yuta had almost never seen on Taeil’s face in the time they’d known one another. He ran his fingers through the flaming tufts, curling the strands around his fingers in an attempt to level his emotions, “It’s okay, I was just worried and-”

Their eyes met, freezing them in place; the onset of Spring had done nothing to improve the weather, and though a chill ran through in the air, as they both remained motionless.  
  


The tension broke when one of Taeil’s flatmates, ‘ _ Taeyong was it?’ _ tentatively cleared his throat, appearing in the otherwise vacant staircase leading past the doorway, “Sorry to interrupt you but- Oh, Yuta! I was just about to call Taeil to come eat dinner, want to join us?”

Yuta dropped his hand from where it had been tangled in the fiery locks, “Shit, I uh… I promised my parents I would call them tonight.” he murmured, eyes remaining fixed on the cracks in the pavement, “I’ll see you in the lecture tomorrow Taeil, uh... see you around Taeyong...”

Before Taeil could think up a response, Yuta spun around and began the arduous walk back to his student accommodation, turning up the music blasting through his headphones as high as they would go in an attempt to drown out the thoughts spiralling in his mind. 

He spent the entire night in solitude, forgoing dinner to sit in his room, and laid back on his bed, hoping that his ceiling would eventually provide him with some answers on what he should do with this crush ( _ fuck, it **is** a crush isn’t it…)  _ that had burrowed its way into his heart. Before he received any answers though, both his mind and body had tired of the turmoil and emotional unrest he’d been drowning in recently, so sleep quickly took over his overworked mind.

Though some might say that only having a small number of friends would help pre-existing friendships to grow stronger, the absence of any comparative companionship prevented Yuta from judging whether his infatuation towards Taeil was just his body crying out for some semblance of intimacy, or genuine romantic attraction.  Getting drunk with the object of his affections at the campus bar  _ probably _ wasn’t the best idea, but Yuta had said no so many times before, that Taeil’s incessant pleading had finally begun to sink in. 

So, after finally dragging Yuta away from his overflowing desk, with vast amounts of begging and bribery in the form of food, the two of them made their way over to the bar for the weekly karaoke night. 

After a couple rounds of shots, Yuta was left stunned as he watched Taeil gain a standing ovation from the crowded bar for his stellar rendition of Beyonce’s ‘Halo’. 

The two of them sat in a booth with a few of Taeil's acquaintances, drinking in the raucous atmosphere of the packed bar. Soon Yuta felt his eyes drooping, as the warm plush seats began to feel more and more comfortable, only helping to accommodate his growing drowsiness.

“Hey… sleepyhead…” he heard a soft murmur directed towards him, “I think it’s time for someone to head home”, Taeil crooned into his ear.

“Mmmhmm…” he muttered, resting his heavy head on his angelic friend’s shoulder and lightly tracing the tattoo on his bicep.

“Okay, yep… up we go”, Taeil grunted as he heaved Yuta to his feet, saying a couple brief goodbyes to his coursemates as they made their exits.

“Is this too spicy?” Taeil asks, jolting him back to reality as he notices a spoon being gestured towards his lips with an eager determination, a trait of his fiery-haired flatmate that he had grown accustomed to.

They’d ended up back at Taeil’s, Yuta too drunk to make it home on his own and complaining about how hungry he was as soon as the night air hit him. So Taeil took it upon himself to reheat something for the two of them to eat while they ( _ mostly Yuta _ ) sobered up.

Yuta takes a small sip of the steaming stew, but before his palate could register any taste at all, his eyebrows shot up as Taeil ran his tongue over the back of the spoon that  had been in his  mouth only a moment ago.

“Haha, maybe it  _ is _ a bit too hot, your face is literally redder than my hair” Taeil chuckled, as Yuta tried to quench the burning sensation rising in his cheeks, as well as the searing desire to press his lips against the cool column of the culinary expert’s neck. 

‘What was that saying again,’ Yuta pondered, mind running in circles, ‘Drunk thoughts, sober words? Wait, no no, that can’t be it’... 

He couldn’t be sure of his feelings; pinpointing exactly what his heart wanted was an ordeal in and of itself, and throwing in a couple helpings of self-loathing, repression, and now alcohol, only made it even more difficult to deduce his own desires.

He shoved down the anxiety that had begun to bubble in his chest, pushing out a question that had been on his mind for quite some time, “You’re fucking great in the kitchen… why aren’t you training to be like a… a cooker or something?

“You mean a chef?” Taeil snarked back, chuckling at Yuta’s drunken inquiries.

“Look… you know what I mean…” he sighed, dragging his hand through his hair.

By this point, Taeil had finished dishing out their post-drinking meal, and lightly placed a steaming bowl of the stew, coupled with some rice in front of Yuta, handing him a spoon whilst judging whether he was too drunk to even eat the dish.

As Yuta began to scarf down the meal in front of him with reckless abandonment, Taeil took it upon himself to answer the question he’d been asked.

“I mean, it was never something my family supported… I mean it’s not like they support my philosophy degree…” he grunted dejectedly “But at least I have some prospect of a career at the end of this degree… what could I even do with a culinary degree? Work in a fast food restaurant?”, chuckling darkly, eyes remaining fixed on the stained wood beneath his feet.

“No!” 

“What? What do you mean-”

“How can you think so little of yourself… everything you cook is fucking amazing, and you’re so charismatic and understanding and… and…” he trailed off, trying his utmost best to think in his drunken haze.

“Look, Yuta... just leave it alone-”

“No! I can’t! I can’t believe you don’t see how talented you are, and how charismatic you are, and- and.” he exclaimed, roughly jabbing his index finger into Taeil’s chest to emphasise his points.

“I told you to stop!” Taeil shouts, grabbing the prodding hand and pulling it towards him, in an attempt to stop his drunken companion from poking him.

“Fuck”, Yuta breathed out, tripping over his own feet and practically falling into Taeil’s lap; his free hand braced on the back of the chair in an attempt to prevent his fall. 

Taeil was looking up at him, eyebrows slightly raised at the diminished distance between the two of them. The dull hum of the kitchen fan seemed to pair up with the electric thrum that Yuta could feel coursing through his entire body. His eyes flickered between the soft brown eyes and the rosy lips of the face that had haunted his sweetest dreams for more nights than he could count. 

With a slight exhale, he leaned in at an achingly slow speed, giving his counterpart ample time to back out, to say ‘this is a mistake’. But he was met with no resistance, which only bolstered his confidence as he released his grip from the chair, resting it on Taeil’s shoulder with a soft squeeze. Their lips met, and Yuta had never felt closer to God than in that very moment. His worries seemed to melt away as he lost himself in the haze of lust that the night had dissolved into. He tilted his head slightly, in an attempt to deepen the kiss, moaning as his hair was gently tugged and teased.

Taeil pitched himself into the heated kiss, a moan escaping him as he proceeded to grab Yuta’s hips in an attempt to bring him  _ closer _ . The sexual tension between the duo had been present from their very first meeting, finally building to a peak that they had been skirting around for some time. But the pair had finally allowed the pressure to break and it felt  _ so fucking good _ .

  
  


After a blissful minute or two, they broke apart, a palpable tension having been built in the air, a silver thread that seemed to tether the two to their positions. Yuta, who had one hand firmly placed on Taeil’s thigh whilst the other lingered in the tousled tufts of Taeil’s hair, softly biting his own lip. While Taeil was breathing heavily, chest heaving as he remained slightly reclined, gazing up at his  _ friend _ that had just leant over and  _ kissed him _ .

The two of them fought distinct battles to try and say something, _anything_ _at all_ , but neither could collect themself enough to utter a word. The silence in the kitchen stretched endlessly, solely filled with their breathy pants, with both of them suffering in each other’s presence.

The strained atmosphere collapsed when the doorbell rang, the harsh shrill cutting through the thick ambience like a knife cutting a stretched rubber band. Taeil jumped to his feet, chair scraping the floor as he strode out of the kitchen towards the front door.

Yuta had barely moved an inch, eyes transfixed on the space where his companion had just been sitting, unable to put together a single thought. He tried to ground himself, thinking to himself ‘Deep breaths...‘we’ll take this one step at a time’, yet from his position, he could hear Taeil frantically whispering to whoever had arrived at his door at this time of night.

“What the hell is going on with you… I get that I should’ve called you before, but it was meant to be a surprise…”

“Fuck, I’m- I’m sorry, of course I’m glad that you’re here.”

“You say that, but… you don’t seem to be too happy about it.“

“No, I really did miss you, please don’t-”

The marbled porcelain dish slipped through Yuta’s fingers, taking its sweet time to finally reach the floorboards, with a splintering shatter.

A thousand ‘ _ Fuck me’s _ ’ ran through Yuta’s head in a stream of frustration as the shards of his now-empty bowl lay scattered across the floorboards.

He dropped to his knees, rushing to pick up the large pieces strewn on the kitchen floor with his bare hands, focused on the task at hand until a deep voice cut into his train of thought.

“Hey, dude… you must be one of Tae’s flatmates, I’m Johnny”

Yuta looked up to see an attractive young man, dressed in a form-fitting leather jacket coupled with black jeans and boots, with an arm casually slung around Taeil’s shoulders. He extended his free hand downwards towards Yuta with a carefree smile plastered on his face, eyes meeting his own with a gleaming twinkle.

It took Yuta longer than it probably would have in a sober state of mind but, even in his current condition, he could judge what was going on;  _ it really didn’t take a genius to tell _ . From the beaming smile on Johnny’s face to the way Taeil was naturally tucked into his side, along with the duffle bag and suitcases that lay by the kitchen entrance. 

They were dating.

He felt the blood drain from his entire body, struggling to take a deep breath and get himself together. He scrambled to get to his feet, slightly swaying as he gripped the dining room chair. 

“Woah, are you okay?” Johnny broaches hesitantly.

“I’m fine, I-”, he chokes on his words as his eyes meet Taeil’s, an expression of guilt fixed on his face, a mirror of Yuta’s own demeanor.

“M-Maybe you should sit down?” Taeil stammers from his fixed position by Johnny’s side.

“No, I’m... I’m good, I’m pretty tired, I think I’m just gonna um... head home.” 

He stumbles past the pair, willing himself to keep moving, put one foot in front of the other, and ignore the yelling for him to come back. He makes it out of the front door, taking a moment to collect himself, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably as good as my writing will ever get, so... enjoy!
> 
> extra thanks to starlightdreaming for motivating me to write this and giving me inspiration for everything <3


End file.
